15. llamas

Another variation on Camel Llamas prancing design from his evolution stage.

HEY! Welcome to my unsolicited rambles and advice to my self (selves). 

Don’t read it if you don’t want to, and be nice or I’ll ignore you mostly, when I can.

This is mostly me rambling about stumbling around the internet learning it while being hacked a lot and other stuff, but with art!

The art makes it personally bearable. 

This is Me:

I got hacked and destroyed in my entire life by people that hated me for reasons they were unable to communicate to me, after I got raped and my mind exploded by being illegally and legally drugged when I attempted to report my rape. Three years later, my life is pretty much basement dwelling idiot, but with art.

I tried learning a bunch of things to stay away from the people that were attacking me and eventually settled on art, because I could visually verify to myself if I improved and derive personal joy and satisfaction from it and it wasn’t something anyone could take away from me, unless they blinded me.

I could do it if they framed me and sent me to jail, in any place, in any situation, and I needed almost nothing. To make art, to draw, you can do that in almost any situation. I thought about that quite a lot. Worst case scenario, in a concrete cell, you can spit on the floor and draw with water. I wanted something to keep, that would be very hard to take from me.

I struggle with being easily distracted, sometimes, and caring about things I should not allow my currently weak self to become invested in. I have made art or drawn since I was a very small child, and when very physically weak a few months after my rape decided to try to make a public presence with it and develop the skill set more. It was something I could do without getting out of bed, which sometimes I did not feel able to do.

These are my rambles about that.